Been playing Oxygen Not Included all day, so today's offering is a rage-filled eulogy for my Duplicants. Your little asteroid-mining dudes are so breathtakingly stupid that they can and will:

• Build themselves into the wall like a very proactive Poe protagonist

• Get so stressed out by their need to pee that they stop fixing the toilet to fill the room with urine, then complain that their shoes are wet

• Happily abandon friends and loved ones in pits, behind locked doors, in freezing or boiling water

• Willingly enter a gas-filled chamber, destroy the exit from the inside, and suffocate to death with a bewildered expression on their face

And so much more. It's actually good that they're so infuriatingly dumb; if they were any better at staying alive, I might feel the slightest bit sad when they die.

Check out the rest of the 100 Sonnets