Today I was doing some reading about the Opium Wars between Britain and China in the mid-19th century, and honestly it just made me depressed. History is just a series of pissing contests between rich men trying to become more rich, fatally misunderstanding each other or riding their big-dick egos to failure, at the cost of millions and millions of lives. The Eternal Fable, the Greatest Story Ever Told: King Compensation tumbles ass-backwards into power and glory on a majestic wave of poor-people blood. Here comes the new King, same as the old King. Everyone applaud your sovereign, assuming he left you both hands.